The Route

We obviously have road limitations with our Rucks, the most obvious being highways.  While we could argue that we’re allowed on them now since they’re wearing motorcycle plates, I doubt that the local and state police between CT and MD would agree with us.  And to be totally honest, it would be genuinely dangerous to try and do this with a capped out flat-ground speed of 40-45 miles an hour.  We started out with a simple Google Maps route, set to avoid highways, and adjusted it accordingly.  Our final decision was to take the Bear Mountain Bridge over the Hudson River, as every bridge south of there is an interstate highway.  This would allow us to stay northwest of NYC and Newark, and ultimately west of the Delaware River.  We will end up brushing against the outskirts of Philadelphia, but far enough outside the city to hopefully avoid too much congestions (pending what time we’re in this area of course).  Once we hit Delaware, it’s pretty much a straight shot down RT13 and ultimately RT1 along the water straight into the north side of Ocean City.  Our current route will put us through CT, NY, NJ, PA, DE, & MD, and will cover 381 miles, estimated (by car) to take 10 hours and 45 minutes.  We have been arguing back and forth trying to estimate how long this is going to take us.  A good portion of these roads are higher speed state roads, with speed limits up to 55mph, so the almost 11 hour estimation is based upon traveling the speed limit, which we will not be able to do on some of these roads.  Doing 381 miles in 10.75 hours would work out to a 35.4mph average over the entirety of the trip.  Realistically, I doubt we will see over 30; probably closer to 25.  30mph average would give us 12.7 hours, 25mph would give us 15.2 hours.   We also estimate 4 stops for fuel given our capacity is 1.1 gallons, and wound out with some additional weight on board, we will be lucky to see much over 85 miles per gallon.  We will also probably have to make stops to keep our vertebrae moving correctly and our legs from falling off, though I’m not sure how frequently we will feel the need to do this, as none of us have ever done much over 3 hours on a scooter before.  I think the vast majority of the details are going to be worked out as we go, since we aren’t really sure what to expect, aside from the obvious things like fuel and Gold Bond breaks.

What if something goes wrong?

Everyone keeps asking what our plan B is, so here’s the answer: we do not have one.

We were going to initially have a chase vehicle to follow us down, with all of our luggage and some spare tools & parts, but he is no longer willing to turn a 6 hour drive into a 16 hour drive, so we lost that bit of support.  We have some of the other guys in the group that are leaving at different times on Wednesday, that we could always plan a rendezvous with when we cross paths, where ever that may be.  But again, that isn’t really a fall back.  Our ride home is being handled by our friend Chris who is pulling down my 16’ trailer sometime early Thursday, which we will use to haul the scooters back home on Sunday (no we are not doing the return trip).  Absolute worst case, I suppose we could wait until Thursday somewhere for Chris to come save us with the trailer, but that’s not part of the plan.  Once we leave the house on Wednesday morning, there’s no turning back.  “Those who fail are those who have a plan B.”  I forgot who said that, and I’m sure it wasn’t related to riding mopeds, but we’re going to apply that here.  So no plan B allowed.

This is going to be miserable.  In the meantime, here’s some pictures of us enjoying our scooters.  Probably the last time we’ll be seen on them with such facial expressions..

So in preparation for this trip, we’ve done extensive maintenance and some modifications to make this trip less miserable.  Here’s a brief overview of what we’ve been up to..

Colby took his entire scooter apart.  And bought a Honda hoodie.

Pat made his less aerodynamic, and also added a backrest (which I’m highly fond of), and eventually some storage space which isn’t pictured..

Morgan also took his entire scooter apart, mainly to do street tires (the only one who’s riding down on street tires), underglow, and some drivetrain mods.

I added a USB charger, and spent way too much time building a completely overkill backrest which I will likely end up rage-removing halfway there and stuffing into a gas station garbage can, as well as some maintenance items..

And Ben washed his.  Because it’s a Honda and that’s all the maintenance it will ever need.

They are all currently back together, and with the exception of a couple last minute things, they are good to go.  We took a ride last night for a shake down, and so far so good.  The successful 10 mile round trip ride is definitely enough to ensure a flawless 400 mile journey.

We still have to iron out some route discrepancies, riding gear, and some minor logistical details.

six more days..

It was announced yesterday that H2Oi is officially “postponed” until 2018.  Due to poor last-minute communication from the organizers, it appears that pretty much everyone is still going, as the hotels are booked and everyone has already put in for the time off, so I don’t imagine it will be much different than normal.  With that being said, we are still riding down.

Now that that is out of the way, here’s a quick update on our situation.  The technicalities were the first subject that we had to conquer.  State-to-state laws vary greatly when it comes to mopeds.  The state of Connecticut pretty much requires nothing at all.  You can ride them with a regular driver’s license, foregoing registration or insurance due to the engine size (amongst several other criteria which they sort-of meet).  However, most of the states that we are going to travel through are not nearly as lax about scooters.  Most require them to be registered and insured, and some even require motorcycle licenses.  4 of the 5 of us had licenses going in, but 0 of the 5 had registration or insurance.  Not a huge deal; the one guy in the group was able to get in to the 3 day motorcycle endorsement course here in CT, and passed without issue; and most insurance companies will actually insure the scooters easily and very affordably.  The slightly complex part is the registration..

Because you don’t need to register anything “under 50cc” in CT, there’s an irritating list of hoops you have to jump through if you want to end up with CT plates on your scooter.  In fact, most DMV employees will decline the request since there’s some conflicting information regarding the legality.  However, with the help of a motorcycle forum, we discovered that the state of Vermont is more than happy to take your money to register your anything, regardless of where you live, the engine size of the moped, or if you even have all the proper paperwork.  Now the real kicker about Vermont is that you can do this all by mail.  Send in an envelope with your paperwork and a check and in two weeks they mail you a registration and a license plate.  It’s glorious.  The only odd part is that some of ours got processed as MDC (motor-driven cycle) plates and some as motorcycle plates, but we aren’t hugely concerned because they’re required to be legally registered, which they are.

What we’re still working on is finalizing our route, and some modifications to make this 16ish hour trip semi-manageable.  Expect some more updates by the beginning of next week.  It’s about to get interesting..

Welp, we are at T-minus 2 weeks.  And I’d like to regretfully inform you that this trip is actually happening.  I know I said it was happening last time, but a little part of me (the vast majority of my being) was hoping that this would fall apart and I could take a comfortable car ride down with lumbar support and climate control and satellite radio.  But that’s not the case, because we have to ride mopeds through 6 states instead.

So it’s probably time that I briefly introduce the group…

Colby.  Colby was the instigator.  The one who proposed this insane idea.  Strangely enough, the only one without motorcycle experience.

Morgan.  Morgan is the peer pressure king.  Once he got word of the idea, no one was allowed to bail because it was happening, whether you liked it or not.

Pat.  Often referred to as Project Put, Pat is the planner.  He’s the one behind the modifications to make this manageable.

Ben.  Sometimes known as Engineer Bahn.  Ben says the Ruckus is a Honda product, so zero preparation or maintenance is required and everything will be fine.

Me, Mike.  I’m the realist (pessimist).  Full of FOMO, thus unable to bail, but 100% aware of the misery that we are all about to endure.

RIP to the squad.

So I’m roughly 100% sure that every single person out there has heard of H2Oi, the car show that happens every Fall in Ocean City, MD. And those of you who just recently learned about it, probably did from the Jalopnik’s coverage of last year’s event, mocking it as ‘the most ticketed show in America’ or something of the like. Not that they were at all wrong with their title of choice.

Well the show originated as a VW/Audi show, which it still technically is, and that’s why we all started going. We went down with a large group of VAG cars 10 years ago, and have gone back ever since. However very few of us (if any, actually) still have VW-based vehicles, as we have grown wise with age. So after a few beers, one of the H2O-goers of the group said “we should ride our Ruckuses down this year”. And the idea was born.

Now really, this is exactly where the idea should have died as well. This is a 380 mile trip (avoiding highways) from central CT, to OCMD. Traveling through 5 states, every one of those states with different scooter laws. Turning what should be a 6.5 hour car ride into a 16 hour moped ride.

Needless to say, we’re riding our Honda Ruckus mopeds from CT to OCMD.

..yes they’re all registered and insured as motorcycles, and we all have valid motorcycle licenses. So regardless of the chaos of state-to-state moped laws, this should supersede them all.

..yes we will probably die on the way down.

..yes it will be 38* and raining for the entirety of this journey, because it wouldn’t be an H2Oi adventure without 8 inches of rainfall and 60mph winds.

..and yes, we will be thoroughly documenting it, with our assortment of 6 GoPros and a dozen portable USB chargers. We’re ironing out the details currently, but I’ll update as I see fit. Because this could actually be interesting to follow, if you like indulging in others’ misery.

Now, I want to start off by saying that I’m not a Honda fanboi by any means.  Not that I ever had anything against Honda, I think they’re one of the better auto manufacturers out there, I was just always tied up in things that were less reliable and generally shittier in my quest to master automotive masochism.

Back like four years ago, or something, I signed one of those online petitions on change.org for Honda to bring over the Civic Type R, and like anyone who has ever signed one of these things, I received updates much more regularly than I cared to, and when I finally saw it was coming, I obviously gave myself a full-fledged pat on the back for being entirely responsible.  So you’re welcome.

Now, since this announcement, I’ve managed to avoid almost all of the news regarding the car’s release.  Mainly because everyone who really wanted it here has wanted it here for so long that we’ve actually outgrown the demographic.  Had this happened when 18-24 year old me was around, it would be a different story I’m sure..

My initial thoughts were that this car was to compete with the Subaru STI and the Focus RS.  The noteworthy 300 horsepower, all wheel drive, turbo hatches.  I heard it was going to be a turbocharged Type R with somewhere in that realm of power, costing in the mid-$30k range, so I just assumed Honda was going to attempt to steal from that pool.

So here’s what really threw me for a loop..

It’s still front wheel drive.  

..Now I’m 99% sure I’m the last person on Earth to learn of this, since I’ve paid virtually no attention to news around the car, but I think this is absolutely asinine.  Why the hell would Honda, the most rationally-minded, well-thought-out automotive company on the planet, leave out such an essential component?  Who is the competition?  The VW GTI has a starting price almost $10,000 lower.  The Focus ST, identical pricing to the GTI.  I get that the Type R has more power, but once you cross that 300hp mark in a FWD vehicle, it’s pretty much useless for city driving anyways, unless you’re into wrist-snapping torque steer and a set of front tires per oil change, thus deeming it a null point for the average Joe.

People will certainly argue that a true Civic Type R HAS to be front wheel drive because that’s what it’s always been.  And that history lesson is obviously true.  But it’s also always been naturally aspirated and 200-ish horsepower.  If you want to be the flagship [negating the NSX] “performance car” of your brand in 2017, 200 naturally aspirated, FWD horsepower isn’t going to get you there.  It’s time to adapt to what the automotive enthusiast in your target market is looking for, except that adaptation fell short.

So, as far as I see it, this was too little, too late.

The Type R has been absent from the US market for SIXTEEN YEARS.  I get the appeal of a cliff-hanger to the automotive enthusiasts, but the people who first cried for the return of the R badge after the death of the DC2 in 2001 are likely approaching 40 by now (let that sink in for a second).  And it’s hard to fit the family of 5 plus a golden retriever in your new Civic Type R, while simultaneously trying to reason with your wife why you borrowed $35k against your 401k for a hatchback that can’t make it to your tween’s hockey practice when there’s two inches of snow on the ground.

Now, just to reiterate, I think Honda has historically been a fantastic brand, and I really hope that the sales numbers prove me wrong.  I just struggle to see the reasoning to fall short on such a long-awaited return of the R-badge.

That is all.

Well, we’re back! I mean, I guess we never really went anywhere. Life sort of got in the way, like that bastard tends to do…

So now we’re here. Where is here? Well here, is something a little bit different. This is an outlet that we’re going to use to advertise our new (and first ever!!) products, while reserving the right to blog periodically, keep a running schedule for the 2017 New England grass roots drifting, and of course, post pictures.

I’ve found myself wanting to mess around with some products I’ve been designing over the last year or so, but I’ve never wanted to give up the idea of cool pictures, and promoting 11/10 grassroots drifting.  So this will be our attempt to do it all!

But for now, this is our work-in-progress.

-Mike